Thursday, December 31, 2015

My first before and after photo

The above photo is one of my "before" pictures.  It was taken about 8 months before the photo below. The photo below was take 12/19/15 and I had lost about 35lbs in that photo. Wearing leggings for the first time ever and my boots that are made for wide calves, are loose! I feel great but still have a good ways to go.

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

My Apologies

My apologies for staying away so long. I really felt like no one was reading the blog and with so many things going on, I just stopped. Ive been off work for the past week and had considered getting back to blogging but saved my post and didnt publish it. Today I got a comment on my last post and so I thought, yeah, maybe I should update the few who read.

I was on the pre op diet for two weeks and when I weight in one week prior to surgery I had lost a few pounds. When I went in for surgery I was 20lbs lighter! I had hoped to lose at least 20 lbs before surgery and I did!

Things went along pretty smoothly except for the difficulty in getting an IV started! Ive always been hard to stick but I was dehydrated from not being able to drink since midnight. The nurse tried twice (including in my left wrist which hurt like the devil!) She decided to get help. The next nurse used a cool device that showed my veins and was able to get one but the IV was running slow. She said she would let the surgeon decide after I was alseep, if he needed to do another one.

Next thing I knew I woke in recovery and was being wheeled to my room where some of my family were waiting to see me. I was groggy and slurring speech but remember feeling like I had done a lot of sit ups. The nurse came in and checked everything and then told me I should be up and walking by evening. It was then I noticed that I had been stuck two more times !

Sure enough, after a few naps I was able to get up and start walking the halls. I didn't feel pain, just soreness. They wanted me to start drinking water (with or without crystal light) and they had it in ice. BIG MISTAKE! As soon as I drank it my stomach started with spasms which felt equal to labor pains. I quickly learned that cold things make the stomach spasm.

The next day I started vomiting off and on and ran a fever at night. The spasms and the vomiting was the worst thing ever! I didn't go home the next day as expected. They kept me until I could keep fluids in and the fever was gone. I was glad to get home!

The spasms got less and less and after four days were gone. My five incisions never hurt at all. My belly was sore and that's it. In fact, on day two in the hospital they came in and told me I had not asked for pain meds all day and wanted to know if I was ok or if I needed them. I didn't take many pain meds after the first day.

When i got home I discovered that I gained 8lbs in the hospital! It took two weeks to lose those 8lbs again.

For Thanksgiving I desired NO food. I made myself eat some chicken broth. For two weeks I didn't want any food but after two weeks I started to notice that my stomach felt empty every three hours. My surgeon said that was a great sign! Many have a difficult time figuring out when to eat as you don't feel hunger after having a VSG. At two weeks out I was released to eat soft foods like yogurt, cottage cheese, re fried beans etc... 

I am now 6 weeks out and I find that I still cannot tolerate things that are very cold. In the mornings I need something warm to drink to get my system moving (like hot lemon ginger tea) I struggle with getting 64 oz of water in and I should consume 60-80 oz of protein in a day and I can easily do that if I have at least one protein shake.  I am branching out now, yesterday while shopping with my girls we ate at Chic-fil-a and I ordered 4 grilled nuggets and was able to fit 2.5 in my belly before being full.  I am satisfied, am never hungry and feel healthy and happy.

I did go through a stall in weight loss for nearly 3 weeks but Im happy to say that I lost 2 lbs since yesterday. Ive lost a total of 38 lbs since the beginning of my journey. I have a ways to go but am now noticing a difference in comparing photos and in my clothes. 

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Pre Op Diet begins

This weekend was my "last meal" or shall I say "meals"  Friday night my husband and I went out to eat at my favorite place, Texas Roadhouse! I enjoyed the rolls,an appetizer, salad, baby back ribs, and a loaded baked potato. I was stuffed!  Saturday I saw that the McRib is back at McDonalds and I love those! I got one of those also. Tonight, we went to LaCocina Mexican Restaurant. Oh my goodness I ate way too much this weekend and it made me feel awful! For the past 7 months Ive changed the way I eat, Ive been taking in 64 oz of water a day and exercising. I decided to go all out this weekend since Monday (tomorrow) I start my pre op diet. 

My surgeon put me on a two week diet but since Thursday will be exactly two weeks before surgery, I decided to start the diet on Monday. 

Here's is how it will go: 

For 1.5 weeks I will have a protein shake (mixed with water) for breakfast. Three hours later a protein bar, a few hours later another shake, three hours later another protein bar. Then, for dinner I will have a lean meat (the size of the palm of my hand) and a green vegetable.

For the week before surgery I can have protein shakes only through out the day. Clear liquids only for the 24 hours before surgery. 

Tonight I will do my measurements and weight (here at home) I hope to lose 10-15 lbs while on the pre op diet to really boost my weight loss and metabolism. 

I purchased Bariatric Advantage for my protein shakes and BA bars and crisps for the snacks. In addition I purchase Isopure and soups with a lot of protein for after surgery. 

I'm excited about this new adventure. My children are not sure what to think. My youngest said my hugs wont be the same anymore once I lose weight. That made me sad but I know I'm doing this for my health, so Ill be happier with myself and live longer around my children and family. 

Ill try to blog a little about how my pre op diet is going. I'm not even sure if anyone is reading this blog. I have told very few friends about my surgery. I don't want to hear the negative comments so its better that I keep it to myself.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

fat photos and food intake amounts

yeah, another FAT picture. This was taken on vacation in August. My girls took the photo when I didn't know. This was outside the Mummy ride and this guy kept following me around. (even though he isn't looking our way at that moment)
This is one of my favorite meals! Chicken Teriaki at the local Japanese restaurant. I love rice, chicken, peppers and onions and these sweet carrots are amazing! The sad part is I used to eat this whole plate of food in one sitting. I have started eating less amounts over the past few months and don't think I can eat that much now and I KNOW I wont after this surgery.

When you think about food as a way to stay alive.....  its sad that our society has gotten into the habit of overeating at every meal.

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Struggling with Mommy Feelings

I am the mother of 4 children ranging in age from 23 to 15. From a young age I longed for the time when I would be a wife and a mother. When my oldest was born, I fell in love. I fell in love with my baby boy, with motherhood and rarely let him leave my side. I stayed home to care for him and 17 months later my second child was born. I loved playing with them outside, reading books, and raising them in church. Two years later I gave birth to my third child. The days were sometimes hard and tiring but I never regretted being a mother. I rarely bought anything for myself, I did everything for them. I wanted to give them things I didn't have as a child. We scraped by financially but I was home day and night. I sang with them, prayed with them, and loved them unconditionally. Four years later my youngest was born. I fell in love with my baby girl just like I did every one of them. I prayed over them and with them. I did my best.

Now, I have only one left in school. I am so proud of my children but man, is it ever hard to have done everything you know to do and then watch them leave the nest knowing that you cannot be there to protect them anymore. You cannot step in when a bad decision is being made, you can only pray for them and trust God. 

When I decided nearly a year ago that I was ready to take time for myself and do something for myself by having surgery to assist with my health, I felt like I had spend all these years being selfless and it was time to spend time on me. 

Tonight as I think more about how fast approaching my surgery is I feel guilt. I feel like I should be spending this time and money on my children. I feel like I should be there for them but what could I really do? I feel guilty and helpless. Praying is easy to do but having the faith your prayers will be answered in Gods timing and God's way is so difficult. My personality wants to take over and jump in a fix everything and I simply cant do that. Only God can be there to guide them. I wont always be there and I know deep down that I need to also take care of myself but its so hard to do. I'm struggling tonight.

Mindful Dreams

My youngest child has a blog. Would you like to follow her?

Friday, October 23, 2015

Fastly Approaching

Things are moving faster now (thankfully) I was super upset to hear I was going to have to pay $800 out of pocket for a CPAP and they required me to use the CPAP for the surgery! I didnt have the money! Long story short (and many phone calls later) the CPAP coordinator offered to let me borrow a CPAP to get me through surgery. 

Surgery is scheduled November 19th! 

In one week my husband and I will go out for the weekend and Ill have a big "last" meal at my favorite place. Then, Ill start the liquid diet  (for two 1/2 weeks)

Not looking forward to the liquid diet but excited about surgery! I never thought Id be excited about a surgery but Im ready for this LIFE CHANGE. 

For anyone who thinks this is the easy way out.... its definitely not easy and Im just beginning! 

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Frustration with myself and insurance companies

I am feeling very frustrated yet again (and I haven't even had the surgery yet) I talk to a lot of people whom I know, who have had various types of WLS and all of them say they DID NOT attempt to lose before surgery. However, Ive been determined to do what the surgeon suggested, and I have. Am I losing? Only a few pounds in six months.  

I eat 5-6 times a day. An average day goes like this: 

7:00 yogurt or boiled egg, coffee
10:00 protein shake
12:30 lunch I I always take my lunch to work. Today I had a small salad topped with cottage cheese and pineapple. small cup of soup the cafeteria gave us and a cup of yogurt. After I ate that I felt full and guilty... as if I over indulged! 
3:30 (I'm supposed to have another shake but I have only been drinking water about this time) 
6:00 Dinner (usually from the book, Eating to live.)

I strive to take in 64 oz of water a day but I'm not hitting the mark on that :( That makes me feel badly as well. I (hopefully) will be having surgery within 4 weeks and I still haven't been able to create the habit of drinking all my water. 

So, right now I feel my amounts are too large and my water intake is not enough. I am frustrated with myself. 

Next week I have my pre-op appointment and will choose a surgery date. While that is exciting, I'm frustrated as well because Ive been waiting for MONTHS to get my CPAP which is required to have before surgery and I keep getting the run around. I was called today to tell me that the place that Ill be getting my equipment from is still trying to verify my insurance and figure out what they will pay and they are also waiting on ANOTHER signature from my sleep specialist. I'm beginning to worry that they wont have my CPAP to me by the time surgery rolls around. 

I also find myself wanting to indulge more in the foods I love BEFORE surgery since I know that surgery is a life changer.

Thursday, October 8, 2015


I got the call today that my insurance APPROVED me for VSG!  I have a pre-op appointment in two weeks and will schedule my surgery during that appointment. (provided I have the money that is due up front) Apparently my previous insurance denied payment for my Nutritionist visit even though they required me to go to that appointment?! I have to pay for that visit and the required amount from my surgeon. Both total about $500

I am guessing that surgery will be around the third week of November (right before Thanksgiving)

Whoop Whoop! 

Im ready! 

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Waiting for my new life

I started a new job and that means I have new insurance. I completed my six visits with the surgeon, and I gave them my new insurance information (even though Ive yet to receive a card) I'm waiting for them to verify the insurance. Once its verified they will review what that insurance requires and make sure Ive completed everything. (I have no doubt that I have since my new insurance requires less than the previous insurance) Once that is complete, they schedule a Pre-Op appointment for me. During that appointment they write prescriptions, schedule surgery and explain the two week liver shrinking diet (which is mostly liquid) Then, Ill have surgery!

I should get a call any day for me to go pick up the CPAP machine and I cant wait because I'm tired all the time! (even though Ive changed my eating, I drink more water and exercise! )

I haven't told many about my choice for surgery. I simply don't want to hear all the questions or negative comments. When you tell people they tell you about others who had it and got sick, died or gained all their weight back. Or you hear people say, you don't look that over weight, why don't you just eat right? I don't want to explain that I'm 100lbs over weight and that I am tired of yoyo dieting and I'm doing this for my health and self esteem. I'm sure eventually Ill have to tell people but for now.... I'm not. I'm just anxiously awaiting surgery and my new life.
 above: vacation in florida  Below: Im in the purple. Thats a photo that just made me sick, yep its me. Size 2x shirt

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Proud mama

My 21 year old purchased her first home all on her own. Im so proud!

Monday, September 21, 2015


On the 30th Ill go for my 6th visit and pay out of pocket. My new insurance begins October 1st.

Once the new insurance kicks in, Ill get the CPAP and the Bariatric Center will verify my insurance and see what they cover and what all they require. Then, we go from there. I hope to have surgery in November.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Bump in the Road

I'm almost there but of course with my luck Ive hit a bump in the road. I was hesitant to change jobs right now but it was the right thing to do. I did not expect my former job to drop my insurance on my last day of work. That means that from Sept 4 to Oct 1 I have no insurance. I have one more weight check to complete. The way my former insurance works, is that I must complete 6 monthly visits consecutively. Ive got to find out how much the visit will be out of pocket without insurance.

I cannot get my CPAP until the new insurance kicks in, and I have to have that before surgery is scheduled.

Ill be signing up for insurance this week but wont have insurance until Oct 1. I don't know the details of my insurance but Ive heard that its easier.... in other words they probably don't require the 6 monthly visits. But then again, I wont know until Oct 1 and I cannot wait until then to find out because if they do require it, Ill have to have a visit in September anyway.

What a mess. I'm frustrated but not giving up. Still working on water and protein intake and I start Refit this week. Not to mention my new job is so much more active than what I have been. (that's good!)

Sunday, September 6, 2015


 Friday was my last day as a preschool teacher. A job Ill never hold again. Im going back to the public school system to stay. I decided I needed change.....  changing jobs, cut my hair short and went back to brown (instead of red) and starting an exercise program next week.
 Ill be working harder at my eating habits and exercising. Surgery should be in the next month or two.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

I keep telling myself.....

I was looking through vacation photos and looked at this one of my girls and I at Dr Seuss Landing and Im disgusted at myself. I keep telling myself this is a BEFORE photo. Surgery should be in October. Im angry at myself for even being where I am right now.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

The Owl Post

Remember when I wrote THIS POST recently? I forgot one thing......
Make sure to visit the OWL POST and purchase post cards or stationary. You can purchase postage stamps with Harry Potter on them ONLY SOLD IN THE PARK and you can get this stamp on your mail as well (which is free) and totally cool for Harry Potter fans.

After we went to Ollivander's Wand shop, we had to exit through the Owl Post. It was so crowded that we ended up looking at the items in the Kiosk outside of The Owl Post and found our post cards and "Howler" and we got the special Owl Post stamp (above) I chose not to purchase the Harry Potter stamps as I already had a whole book of stamps.

Monday, August 24, 2015

CPAP Titration Sleep Study

My second sleep study is complete. I slept with the mask and while it was hard to get used to, I felt better the next day! I will see a sleep specialist next week and complete my 5th of 6 weight checks with the surgeon. 

I'm a little nervous at this point as I am having to switch jobs which results in changing insurances. My doctor's office said that as long as the next insurance covers WL surgery Ill be fine. I think they do but I guess I wont know until I start the job! 

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Craving Pumpkin

They sold this in The Wizarding World of Harry Potter and Diagon Alley. I'm not usually a pumpkin fan, but this stuff was like...... fall in your mouth! It was so good and Ive spent a good amount of time in search of recipes on Pinterest to see if I can recreate the taste. Ill let you know if I succeed!

Sunday, August 16, 2015

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter and Diagon Alley

When visiting Universal Studios and/or Islands of Adventure, of course you want to be sure to visit The Wizarding World of Harry Potter & Diagon Alley. Here are a few tips from me about when you visit. 

1.  Stay inside Universal Studios to get some great benefits! Some offer the Express Pass for free and all Universal Resorts allow you to get inside The Wizarding World of Harry Potter one hour before the public! 

2. Some packages offer a full breakfast or you can simply purchase your own.(Most meals inside the park average at $15 per person) If they offer it with your package, you will make reservations. I suggest between 9 and 10. That way you get into Harry Potter World early and do a few things you want to do without standing in long lines and then have breakfast.  (Above and Below: We ate at The Leaky Cauldron in Diagon Alley and at HP World we ate at the Three Broomsticks. Both places offered a British Breakfast or American Breakfasts. You could choose from juice, coffee, Butter Beer or Pumpkin Juice. 
If you like Cream Soda, you will LOVE Butter Beer! They offer it in the restaurants hot or cold but in the kiosks around the parks you can also get it frozen (and its best this way) or Butter Beer Ice Cream. For an added souvenirs, at the kiosks you can choose to pay more to get it in a souvenir cup. Also, the Pumpkin Juice was amazing (and I am not a pumpkin flavor fan) It tasted like a Pumpkin Cider.
3. Make sure to stop at all the Photo Ops and take photos. Especially with the Knight Bus and the talking head!
4. Pay attention to the website about the size of back pack you can/should bring. We all carried a back back with Power Aid bottles. We brought bottles that we could refill with water at various water fountains around the park and we also had Power Aid packets that we could add to the water. MAKE SURE YOU DON'T GET DEHYDRATED! 

They checked our bags before going in but they didn't pay attention to the size. We quickly realized that many rides do not allow bags, wallets, keys or anything. They do offer lockers that are free for one hour but they are small and you want to make sure your bag fits into the lockers. 

5. You must ride the ride inside Gringotts Bank, which is at Diagon Alley ( you will check your bags) Even if you don't like roller coasters, most of the ride is 3D and tricks your mind into thinking you are on a coaster. If you close your eyes a minute you will realize you aren't moving that much. This is also true of The Forbidden Journey inside the Castle at HP World. ... Don't forget to walk down the Alley! (see below) it was dark and very cold (nice treat on a HOT day) and visit the shops down there!
6. Below is the Weasleys Store. My kids really enjoyed that! Make sure you stand in line to visit Olivanders Wand Shop. Its a short presentation (maybe 10 minutes) He will choose one or two people in the room to match a want to them. Two of my children were lucky enough to be picked! We watched boxes move off the shelf and bells ring all over the room when they attempted to use the "wrong wand for them" (photos are not allowed in there!) 

You can purchase an interactive wand after the presentation that will make magic things happen at certain places around the park. (Those wants are about $50) Quite a few people were also wearing cloaks that look just like the ones in the movie. You can purchase those for $109
7. Be assured by day 3 you will all be exhausted ! This was my youngest at breakfast on the third day.
8. If you have the park to park pass you can ride the Hogwarts Express from The Wizarding World of Harry Potter to Diagon Alley for free. Its well worth riding both ways! We expected a train ride only but it was an experience!
We sat inside a cabin that looked just like the movies and the window was basically a computer screen that looked like a window. You saw the scenes moving by as if you were actually on the Hogwarts Express complete with Hagrid flying by on a motorcycle etc...
On the side where the door is you saw shadows of people walking by and hear the voices of Harry, Hermoine and others. You saw them look into your cabin and shadows of chocolate frogs that got loose!
9. We had the Express Pass for one day. (the second day we were there) and it was well worth it! We made a list the night before of the things we wanted to do inside Universal and Islands of Adventure. (The Express Pass does not include HP rides. That's why we got there one hour early and did the main rides there first.) We did all the big rides we wanted to very quickly with the Express Pass while others waited in line for a long time. Some rides, people waited up to three hours to ride!
10. Download the Universal App (and there are several) they will show you the wait times of the rides and even give you directions on how to get there!
Our favorite rides in the parks were.....  All the Harry Potter Rides, The Mummy, The Hulk (I didn't ride that one but my husband and daughter did! They also road the Rocket! No way was I riding that!   Transformers was neat but a rough ride and that one hurt my back. We had soooo much fun! 

Harry Potter Worlds were the best part! 

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Cabana Bay

 Last week we were on vacation. We stayed at the Cabana Bay Resort in Orlando. Its a retro theme. Everything is done in a 60s theme. My youngest loved the old telephone (it actually worked! You could call individual rooms on it)
 There were tons of tables, chairs with or without umbrellas, two swimming pools and a lazy river. Every night they played movies by the pool.
 There was tons for kids and adults to do. unfortunately I didn't take photos inside the rooms. Our room had two queen beds and there was a small living room with a pull out sofa bed and a tiny kitchenette.
 Cabana Bay is one of the newest resorts inside Universal Studios (so its cheaper) Most Universal resorts have special perks for their customers but Cabana Bay didn't have as many. It still offered buses to and from Universal and Sea World. We also got one hour early admission to Harry Potter World! We took advantage of that every day!
I would go back to the resort in a heartbeat!

Cabana Bay did not pay me in any way for this "review" its just my personal experience.

Friday, August 7, 2015

Universal Studios and Our Anniversary!

We had a great family vacation the week that we also celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary!
Ill tell you all about the Wizarding World of Harry Potter  later.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

4 of 5 (update on Gastric Sleeve Process)

I am 9lbs down and getting closer to my BIG DAY!

I met with my surgeon Monday and he is pushing more for me to start exercising so that's going to happen real soon! Ill be going on vacation soon but as soon as return I will be hitting the new eating plan hard!

I had a second visit with the Psychiatrist and while she wants to follow up with me in a few weeks, she did send my clearance letter! Whoop Whoop!

All I need to do now is complete a second sleep study/Titration and get set up with a cpap and complete two more visits (August and September) That's when they send for approval from insurance. Once approval comes, Ill meet with the surgeon for pre op, meet with finance dept and schedule surgery. Surgery will be after a two week liquid diet (to shrink the liver) That is the part I dread the MOST!!!!

Thursday, July 23, 2015

DIY: Coffee Table

 Im a show off on the DIY Show Off!!! 
Check out all their awesome links after reading my post!

 That DIY Party summer link party button

So I went through this "red" phase. I bought everything I saw for the living room that was red! I ended up with too much red. Now, Im redoing the living room, which is HUGE for me because I suck at decorating! Below you will see the coffee table that I, once upon a time, fell in love with. I decided to break up the red,so here's what I did.

Step 1
Sand the coffee table. 

Step 2 
Use fingers to apply thin layers of Vasoline to the areas you do not want paint to stick to.

Step 3
Start Painting! In my case, I painted only the top.

 Step 4
After the paint is dry, use a wet rag to wipe the table down and remove the paint that is over the Vasoline. Check it out! I love the way it looks!
What I learned.....

Make sure you apply a THIN layer of Vasoline. I used too much and after 6 days I still find spots that need to be wiped down.  

When I finish the livingroom, Ill post photos! 

Sunday, July 12, 2015

My weekend- new chickens and redecorating

 A week ago I purchased five chicks to add to our flock (since we were down to only five laying hens) Then, I found out some friends were moving and needed a home for their laying hens. So this weekend I adopted five hens (that are already laying)
 When I added the new hens to the flock.... I let the new ones explore the run alone while the others free ranged in the yard and checked the new ladies out from the other side of the fence. At night, I opened the coop so they could all be inside together. Again, the new ones stayed in the coop/run alone today while the others free ranged. Later, I let them all back in the coop. Three of my hens decided it was time to lay their eggs at the same time in their favorite box. These silly girls!
 I tried to move two but they only hopped back in there. Later I returned to find three eggs in the box.
I have three Buff Orphington hens now. They are a much larger breed but so pretty! I just love them already!

Im also excited about changing the living room around. We are finally getting rid of the red wall! Cant wait to finish the living room and share photos later!

Saturday, July 11, 2015

On again Off again

I got off track with my eating and protein intake. Determined to get back on track this week ! 

I took my before photos but just dont feel comfortable enough to share them right now. 

Finally got a call back to schedule my cpap Titration! 

Next week I have my 4th visit with the surgeon. 

Vacation is coming up and I always get nervous around rollar coasters for fear I wont fit in their seats! I always have but how humiliating would it be to not fit and have to get off?! 

Cant wait to get healthy, lose weight, feel better about myself for one and not be so self conscience! 

In other news...... 

I adopted 5 laying hens and 5 baby chicks and have a grand total of 15 chickens in my flock now! 
Love my chickens! 

We are painting the living room and making some changes in decorating (that always makes me feel better!) I just have anxiety about the time frame Ive put on myself to get it all done before we have a family visitor and before vacation. 

Ill be sharing some photos very soon! 

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Life has a way...........

Life has a way of getting you down sometimes. 

I dont want to ask, "What else can happen?" because it surely will! 

We lived without water for two days this week. We finally discovered that the wiring to our well had broke in half. It cost a few hundred dollars and a lot of work (and a day off) for my husband. Thankfully, we were able to walk over to the inlaws house and take showers. 

We went to a new dentist recently and was told my youngest had 16 cavities and her new braces needed to be removed for all the work to be done. This would cost thousands of dollars. I opted for a second opinion. My husband had to take another day off and he took her to the Orthodontist to have the wire removed (not all braces) then to a new dentist for the exam and back to the Orthodontist to have the wire put back on. The second opinion? She has NO cavities between her teeth! She has two on molars and can be taken care of with the braces on. Thankful that I had common sense enough to go for a second opinion. 

Its been over 100 degrees for weeks and I have had little to no air in my truck. You do what you have to do right?

As for my weight loss journey.....  Ive been excited about this for three months and with everything else beating me down I guess it was time for me to come off my high.... I looked at myself and thought, "why is it taking surgery for you to lose weight and keep it off resulting in better health?"  

Right now Im tired physically and emotionally, Im stressed about finances, health and work issues. Im just worn down and need a break, a vacation just time off from LIFE.

Monday, June 22, 2015

Bad Fall

Seriously its been a tough few months! Last week I tripped at work on the sidewalk and felt strait on my elbow! Im pretty sure I bruised the bone. I can use it and Im not limited in doing anything its just painful to touch it!

In other news..... I completed my third weight check.  I am also waiting on a call to schedule my second sleep study with a cpap machine.

In July Ill finish my Psychiatrist visits and have my 4th weight check! Ive lost about 5 lbs in the past few months (better than nothing)

Im trying so hard to consume 64 oz of water a day, eat six times a day (smaller amounts) and now need to add exercising to the mix!

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Sleep Study Complete

I have not seen the results but online I see Im listed as having "Sleep Disturbance"  Whatever that means. Im waiting to hear back from my doctor. 

Tomorrow I see the Psychiatrist, who is supposed to talk to me and decide if she things Im emotionally and mentally ready for a lifetime change. I am pretty sure I am. I read everything I can about the procedure and life afterwards. Im a member of several support groups on Facebook and read people post about struggles and triumphs since surgery. I know its a total lifestyle change and Im ready for that! I am told that this Psychiatrist requires two visits. (most require one) 

Once I am done with the psychiatrist, I will be finished with all the required doctor appointments except for my monthly weight checks with my surgeon. Those visits will be complete at the end of September. 

In the mean time, I am getting through my work week (and trying to save up sick time) preparing for a visit from my step son and a vacation to Florida (at the beginning of August) 
Hopefully if things keep going smoothly, Ill have surgery at the beginning of October (four months away!)

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Rough few weeks

The past few weeks have been challenging to say the least. I scratched my eye while caring for my chickens! That took a week or two to heal completely. I had a stomach virus which made it nearly impossible to keep any food down for four days. Of course, once I could eat..... I wanted to eat everything in sight. I started feeling better last Friday afternoon but on Saturday I woke to a painful neck. That got worse and on day three I went to the doctor for x-rays. I had a very swollen muscle that was pressing on the nerve. I was given Prednisone. Ive never taken that before and I never want it again! 

On the second night of taking the steroids I had terrible reflux and began feeling as if the pills were stuck in my chest. I walked the house, drank water, nibbled on something, all in attempt to make the pills move or to feel some comfort. It didnt help. I started to worry as I remembered about a similar situation with a former coworker who felt this same way and she died in the night of a heart attack! I started itching all over and decided to get in the shower. I stood in the warm shower scratching and crying and holding my chest.It was terrible! Slowly it eased a little but I felt that lump (pain) in my chest for about 24 hours! I stopped taking the medication. On Friday i felt like I was starving all day and got way off my eating plan. 

Then I had to go to my sleep study. That wasnt fun. I have no issues falling asleep but the wires were uncomfortable and the knowing that there was a camera watching me and a nurse in the other room watching me all night just didnt make for easy sleep. 

Oh well......  Im praying that the next few weeks are far easier than my last few weeks! 

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Sleep Study is Over

 It wasnt a comfortable night but its over. I guess Ill hear back through my doctor about the results. I was tired all day yesterday trying to make up for lost sleep or not resting as well (I guess)
Now I have to visit a Psychiatrist (required by insurance) and 4 more monthly visits with my doctor.
Still working on taking in enough fluids daily, eating 6 times a day which includes a lot of protein and less sugar.