On My Way

 Ive lost 57 pounds (counting from my highest weight) I went through my closet and I have three trash bags full of clothes I can no longer wear. Its great! But at the same time, I have hardly any clothes to wear!

 Today I wore this to church. Ive never worn pants on a Sunday morning to church but I have no dresses or skirts that fit me!

Tomorrow I start Couch to 5K training. I signed up for a 5K color run for next month! I might be crazy but signing up is the push I need to make me train.I need to exercise more than I have been. 

I go to Refit once a week. Sometimes I do weights and stair stepper at home but in the past few weeks Ive been slacking. 

Ive also been pretty down about a lot of things. Generally not happy with life even though I have a pretty good life. Mid life crisis maybe??? Side effects from surgery???  I don't know. I feel great about my weight loss,  just a lot going on in my brain these days. Hoping more training and exercise and concentrating on that will help. 

Confession Letter to My Friends

As of this morning, Ive lost 50 lbs!!  My weight loss has been a year in the making but only now is it beginning to be noticeable (to some) Ive had a lot of people asking me questions about how I'm doing it, so today I decided to reveal all my secrets! 

One year ago in December I hit my highest weight and was completely miserable. I decided that I had to make a change. I decided to see a doctor that specializes in weight loss. I went in for monthly visits while he talked me through some changes I needed to make.  

The following are changes I made (and in this order)

• I STOPPED DRINKING SOFT DRINKS.  For me, it was better to go cold turkey. weaning myself off them was NOT an option. 
• I STARTED WORKING TOWARDS DRINKING 64OZ OF WATER A DAY. This was a challenge. Ive never drank much water. I decided that PureLife flavored waters were a good option. I purchased a bottle with times on it, so that I could stay on track and meet my daily goal. it wasn't easy, it took me weeks (more like months) 
• I STARTED EATING 5-6 TIMES A DAY! My doctor told me that skipping meals was one of the leading causes of obesity. I was notorious for not eating breakfast and sometimes lunch, then Id want to snack all evening. He told me to purchase the book, Eating for Life,  (and I did purchase it on Amazon for only a few dollars) He told me to start eating like the book teaches. I STARTED EATING 5-6 TIMES A DAY smaller meals/snacks. The book contains many awesome recipes but also teaches you how to plan out your 5-6 meals/snacks a day. 
• I STARTED EATING SMALLER PORTIONS. I no longer use a dinner plate but I use the smaller breakfast plate for every meal. I do not get seconds. 

• I STARTED EXERCISING.  This is my least favorite part of my weight loss journey! Ive never liked exercising but its an important part. I joined my local Refit class and go once a week. I started walking (if the weather cooperates) More recently I started with a little weight training and stair stepper. 
•  

Now, while doing these things I also started researching and talking with my doctor about weight loss surgeries. Most of us know someone who has had Gastric Bypass . I read up on the procedure and felt like this was NOT the option for me. I then learned about another procedure, Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. This procedure is less invasive, faster recovery time and comparable results to the bypass. There is no bypassing part of the intestines. The procedure simply makes your stomach smaller so you physically cannot eat too much. It makes it so that you can only eat small amounts at a time.  (which goes right along with the book, Eating for Life. ) I talked to my doctor about my interest in the VSG and he agreed that it would be a great TOOL for me if I stayed with the plans we were already putting in place. The thing about this procedure is ITS NOT AN EASY FIX.  You can have the surgery and eat all the wrong things,the wrong ways and gain weight.  I decided to work towards the surgery and after much medical testing (swallow test, EKG, Psychological evaluations, etc...) my insurance approved me. 

• VSG WAS SCHEDULED.  Two weeks prior to the surgery I STARTED THE LIVER SHRINKING DIET.  (Anyone can do it,  without surgery)  Week 1 was a protein shake (I used Bariatric Advantage due to more vitamins and less than 1 gram of sugar) for breakfast, then a protein snack three hours later, A protein shake for lunch, a protein snack three hours after lunch and finally a lean meat and green vegetable for dinner.  Week 2 was an all liquid diet. 5 protein shakes a day (every three hours) with only water in between.  The first three days were rough, but after that my body went into keytosis. I LOST 20 LBS IN TWO WEEKS !!!  Once you are in keytosis its important not to add sugar or carbs back into the diet. 
• NO SUGAR! NO CARBS!  
• IN NOVEMBER I HAD VSG SURGERY.  I can only eat small amounts at a time. It has not been much of an adjustment because I had already started eating 5 small meals a day months before surgery.  I was in the hospital two days (out of work for 10) The thing to remember is that this surgery is a tool and it only works if I use it as a tool and eat the right things the right ways. Currently my stomach only holds about 1/4 cup of food at a time. It will naturally stretch with time and I will be able to eat more at a time. If I do not stay on track, I can and will gain weight. 
• IT HAS TAKEN ME NEARLY A YEAR OF CHANGING HABITS BUT IVE NOW LOST 50LBS. I am not losing fast, but I'm losing steady. I go up to a month and lose nothing but I continue with my new habits. 
• I ALWAYS MAKE A PLAN.  Every day I know what my breakfast, snacks, lunch and dinner will be. If you don't have a plan, its easy to get stuck and end up making bad choices or skipping meals. 
• ITS OK TO CELEBRATE BIRTHDAYS AND ANNIVERSARIES. My awesome surgeon, Dr Bovard, says to go by the book (Eating for Life) every day but for rare special occasions, its ok to enjoy something I wouldn't normally eat. After that, get back to the plan. Ive never had a doctor that I loved as much as this one! He is down to earth, explains everything, takes time with his patients and the follow up plan after surgery is great. I have met with and emailed questions to the Nutritionist on staff and she always helps me out by answering questions or looking over my food journal to make sure I'm eating correctly. 
•  
• WHAT IS MY DAILY MEAL PLAN LIKE?  Here it is.... 7:00 Protein Shake  10:00 Oikos Triple Zero Yogurt (1/2 container) 1:00 Protein Lunch (example: refried beans with ricotta cheese and salsa or sliced turkey, cheese)  4:00 protein shake  6-7 Dinner (example: Tilapia and broccoli or Baked Ricotta or any protein dinner with a little veggies)   I EAT AT LEAST 60 grams OF PROTEIN A DAY AND NO CARBS AND VERY LITTLE SUGAR. 
•  
• DID I TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT? If you read all this and think I took the easy way out then there is nothing I can do to get you to understand that this is not easy. I work daily to get the correct amount of protein, water, to keep sugar and carbs out of my diet and to do everything as Dr Bovard has taught me. 
•  
• WHY DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO TELL EVERYONE? I told my immediate family and only a few friends that I was having VSG. The main reason was that I didn't want negativity. I didn't want to hear how you know someone who died having weight loss surgery or how you know people who gained the weight back etc...  I did my research, I chose the right surgery for me and I have done the work it requires to lose the weight. WHY AM I CONFESSING NOW? I have lost 50lbs, I feel great, I saw Dr Bovard this week for my 3 month post op visit and he said I'm doing awesome. He also said, "You need to understand that I did not do this. I gave you a tool and you are using it correctly and getting the results you wanted/needed"
•  
• CAN YOU DO ALL THESE THINGS AND GET RESULTS WITHOUT SURGERY? I have no doubt that you can do these things and lose weight. Surgery was the right thing for me. Its not the right thing for everyone. However, if you are considering weight loss surgery? I strongly suggest Bariatric Specialists of NC and specifically, Dr Bovard.  

Won Ton Nachos

Since having my VSG , I am on soft foods (being six weeks out) and need to consume a lot of protein. I also need to stay away from carbs (chips) so, an alternative to chips is won ton wrappers! 

I have been looking everywhere for them and finally found them! I placed the wrappers in my Pampered Chef brownie pan and then I added ricotta cheese, fat free refried beans, cheddar cheese, (some had a sliced jalapaneo) and I baked them until the edged of the wrappers were brown and the cheese was melted. I topped them with salsa. 

I was able to eat two (leaving a little on my plate) I felt full and satisfied.  The ricotta cheese is packed full of protein! The beans and cheese contain my needed protein as well.

My family ate some of these as well but I did make a large pan of nachos, taco meat, refried beans and cheese for them.  

*note* that is a really small plate I have my won ton nachos on. I try to use small plates because placing small amounts on a large plate looks so sad. 

Pre Op Diet begins

This weekend was my "last meal" or shall I say "meals"  Friday night my husband and I went out to eat at my favorite place, Texas Roadhouse! I enjoyed the rolls,an appetizer, salad, baby back ribs, and a loaded baked potato. I was stuffed!  Saturday I saw that the McRib is back at McDonalds and I love those! I got one of those also. Tonight, we went to LaCocina Mexican Restaurant. Oh my goodness I ate way too much this weekend and it made me feel awful! For the past 7 months Ive changed the way I eat, Ive been taking in 64 oz of water a day and exercising. I decided to go all out this weekend since Monday (tomorrow) I start my pre op diet. 

My surgeon put me on a two week diet but since Thursday will be exactly two weeks before surgery, I decided to start the diet on Monday. 

Here's is how it will go: 

For 1.5 weeks I will have a protein shake (mixed with water) for breakfast. Three hours later a protein bar, a few hours later another shake, three hours later another protein bar. Then, for dinner I will have a lean meat (the size of the palm of my hand) and a green vegetable.

For the week before surgery I can have protein shakes only through out the day. Clear liquids only for the 24 hours before surgery. 

Tonight I will do my measurements and weight (here at home) I hope to lose 10-15 lbs while on the pre op diet to really boost my weight loss and metabolism. 

I purchased Bariatric Advantage for my protein shakes and BA bars and crisps for the snacks. In addition I purchase Isopure and soups with a lot of protein for after surgery. 

I'm excited about this new adventure. My children are not sure what to think. My youngest said my hugs wont be the same anymore once I lose weight. That made me sad but I know I'm doing this for my health, so Ill be happier with myself and live longer around my children and family. 

Ill try to blog a little about how my pre op diet is going. I'm not even sure if anyone is reading this blog. I have told very few friends about my surgery. I don't want to hear the negative comments so its better that I keep it to myself.

Fastly Approaching

Things are moving faster now (thankfully) I was super upset to hear I was going to have to pay $800 out of pocket for a CPAP and they required me to use the CPAP for the surgery! I didnt have the money! Long story short (and many phone calls later) the CPAP coordinator offered to let me borrow a CPAP to get me through surgery. 

Surgery is scheduled November 19th! 

In one week my husband and I will go out for the weekend and Ill have a big "last" meal at my favorite place. Then, Ill start the liquid diet  (for two 1/2 weeks)

Not looking forward to the liquid diet but excited about surgery! I never thought Id be excited about a surgery but Im ready for this LIFE CHANGE. 

For anyone who thinks this is the easy way out.... its definitely not easy and Im just beginning! 

Frustration with myself and insurance companies

I am feeling very frustrated yet again (and I haven't even had the surgery yet) I talk to a lot of people whom I know, who have had various types of WLS and all of them say they DID NOT attempt to lose before surgery. However, Ive been determined to do what the surgeon suggested, and I have. Am I losing? Only a few pounds in six months.  

I eat 5-6 times a day. An average day goes like this: 

7:00 yogurt or boiled egg, coffee
10:00 protein shake
12:30 lunch I I always take my lunch to work. Today I had a small salad topped with cottage cheese and pineapple. small cup of soup the cafeteria gave us and a cup of yogurt. After I ate that I felt full and guilty... as if I over indulged! 
3:30 (I'm supposed to have another shake but I have only been drinking water about this time) 
6:00 Dinner (usually from the book, Eating to live.)

I strive to take in 64 oz of water a day but I'm not hitting the mark on that :( That makes me feel badly as well. I (hopefully) will be having surgery within 4 weeks and I still haven't been able to create the habit of drinking all my water. 

So, right now I feel my amounts are too large and my water intake is not enough. I am frustrated with myself. 

Next week I have my pre-op appointment and will choose a surgery date. While that is exciting, I'm frustrated as well because Ive been waiting for MONTHS to get my CPAP which is required to have before surgery and I keep getting the run around. I was called today to tell me that the place that Ill be getting my equipment from is still trying to verify my insurance and figure out what they will pay and they are also waiting on ANOTHER signature from my sleep specialist. I'm beginning to worry that they wont have my CPAP to me by the time surgery rolls around. 

I also find myself wanting to indulge more in the foods I love BEFORE surgery since I know that surgery is a life changer.

Approved!

I got the call today that my insurance APPROVED me for VSG!  I have a pre-op appointment in two weeks and will schedule my surgery during that appointment. (provided I have the money that is due up front) Apparently my previous insurance denied payment for my Nutritionist visit even though they required me to go to that appointment?! I have to pay for that visit and the required amount from my surgeon. Both total about $500

I am guessing that surgery will be around the third week of November (right before Thanksgiving)

Whoop Whoop! 

Im ready! 

Waiting for my new life

I started a new job and that means I have new insurance. I completed my six visits with the surgeon, and I gave them my new insurance information (even though Ive yet to receive a card) I'm waiting for them to verify the insurance. Once its verified they will review what that insurance requires and make sure Ive completed everything. (I have no doubt that I have since my new insurance requires less than the previous insurance) Once that is complete, they schedule a Pre-Op appointment for me. During that appointment they write prescriptions, schedule surgery and explain the two week liver shrinking diet (which is mostly liquid) Then, Ill have surgery!

I should get a call any day for me to go pick up the CPAP machine and I cant wait because I'm tired all the time! (even though Ive changed my eating, I drink more water and exercise! )

I haven't told many about my choice for surgery. I simply don't want to hear all the questions or negative comments. When you tell people they tell you about others who had it and got sick, died or gained all their weight back. Or you hear people say, you don't look that over weight, why don't you just eat right? I don't want to explain that I'm 100lbs over weight and that I am tired of yoyo dieting and I'm doing this for my health and self esteem. I'm sure eventually Ill have to tell people but for now.... I'm not. I'm just anxiously awaiting surgery and my new life.

 above: vacation in florida  Below: Im in the purple. Thats a photo that just made me sick, yep its me. Size 2x shirt

Update

On the 30th Ill go for my 6th visit and pay out of pocket. My new insurance begins October 1st.

Once the new insurance kicks in, Ill get the CPAP and the Bariatric Center will verify my insurance and see what they cover and what all they require. Then, we go from there. I hope to have surgery in November.

Bump in the Road

I'm almost there but of course with my luck Ive hit a bump in the road. I was hesitant to change jobs right now but it was the right thing to do. I did not expect my former job to drop my insurance on my last day of work. That means that from Sept 4 to Oct 1 I have no insurance. I have one more weight check to complete. The way my former insurance works, is that I must complete 6 monthly visits consecutively. Ive got to find out how much the visit will be out of pocket without insurance.

I cannot get my CPAP until the new insurance kicks in, and I have to have that before surgery is scheduled.

Ill be signing up for insurance this week but wont have insurance until Oct 1. I don't know the details of my insurance but Ive heard that its easier.... in other words they probably don't require the 6 monthly visits. But then again, I wont know until Oct 1 and I cannot wait until then to find out because if they do require it, Ill have to have a visit in September anyway.

What a mess. I'm frustrated but not giving up. Still working on water and protein intake and I start Refit this week. Not to mention my new job is so much more active than what I have been. (that's good!)

I keep telling myself.....

I was looking through vacation photos and looked at this one of my girls and I at Dr Seuss Landing and Im disgusted at myself. I keep telling myself this is a BEFORE photo. Surgery should be in October. Im angry at myself for even being where I am right now.

CPAP Titration Sleep Study

My second sleep study is complete. I slept with the mask and while it was hard to get used to, I felt better the next day! I will see a sleep specialist next week and complete my 5th of 6 weight checks with the surgeon. 

I'm a little nervous at this point as I am having to switch jobs which results in changing insurances. My doctor's office said that as long as the next insurance covers WL surgery Ill be fine. I think they do but I guess I wont know until I start the job! 

4 of 5 (update on Gastric Sleeve Process)

I am 9lbs down and getting closer to my BIG DAY!

I met with my surgeon Monday and he is pushing more for me to start exercising so that's going to happen real soon! Ill be going on vacation soon but as soon as return I will be hitting the new eating plan hard!

I had a second visit with the Psychiatrist and while she wants to follow up with me in a few weeks, she did send my clearance letter! Whoop Whoop!

All I need to do now is complete a second sleep study/Titration and get set up with a cpap and complete two more visits (August and September) That's when they send for approval from insurance. Once approval comes, Ill meet with the surgeon for pre op, meet with finance dept and schedule surgery. Surgery will be after a two week liquid diet (to shrink the liver) That is the part I dread the MOST!!!!

Life has a way...........

Life has a way of getting you down sometimes. 

I dont want to ask, "What else can happen?" because it surely will! 

We lived without water for two days this week. We finally discovered that the wiring to our well had broke in half. It cost a few hundred dollars and a lot of work (and a day off) for my husband. Thankfully, we were able to walk over to the inlaws house and take showers. 

We went to a new dentist recently and was told my youngest had 16 cavities and her new braces needed to be removed for all the work to be done. This would cost thousands of dollars. I opted for a second opinion. My husband had to take another day off and he took her to the Orthodontist to have the wire removed (not all braces) then to a new dentist for the exam and back to the Orthodontist to have the wire put back on. The second opinion? She has NO cavities between her teeth! She has two on molars and can be taken care of with the braces on. Thankful that I had common sense enough to go for a second opinion. 

Its been over 100 degrees for weeks and I have had little to no air in my truck. You do what you have to do right?

As for my weight loss journey.....  Ive been excited about this for three months and with everything else beating me down I guess it was time for me to come off my high.... I looked at myself and thought, "why is it taking surgery for you to lose weight and keep it off resulting in better health?"  

Right now Im tired physically and emotionally, Im stressed about finances, health and work issues. Im just worn down and need a break, a vacation just time off from LIFE.

Bad Fall

Seriously its been a tough few months! Last week I tripped at work on the sidewalk and felt strait on my elbow! Im pretty sure I bruised the bone. I can use it and Im not limited in doing anything its just painful to touch it!

In other news..... I completed my third weight check.  I am also waiting on a call to schedule my second sleep study with a cpap machine.

In July Ill finish my Psychiatrist visits and have my 4th weight check! Ive lost about 5 lbs in the past few months (better than nothing)

Im trying so hard to consume 64 oz of water a day, eat six times a day (smaller amounts) and now need to add exercising to the mix!

Sleep Study Complete

I have not seen the results but online I see Im listed as having "Sleep Disturbance"  Whatever that means. Im waiting to hear back from my doctor. 

Tomorrow I see the Psychiatrist, who is supposed to talk to me and decide if she things Im emotionally and mentally ready for a lifetime change. I am pretty sure I am. I read everything I can about the procedure and life afterwards. Im a member of several support groups on Facebook and read people post about struggles and triumphs since surgery. I know its a total lifestyle change and Im ready for that! I am told that this Psychiatrist requires two visits. (most require one) 

Once I am done with the psychiatrist, I will be finished with all the required doctor appointments except for my monthly weight checks with my surgeon. Those visits will be complete at the end of September. 

In the mean time, I am getting through my work week (and trying to save up sick time) preparing for a visit from my step son and a vacation to Florida (at the beginning of August) 
Hopefully if things keep going smoothly, Ill have surgery at the beginning of October (four months away!)

Rough few weeks

The past few weeks have been challenging to say the least. I scratched my eye while caring for my chickens! That took a week or two to heal completely. I had a stomach virus which made it nearly impossible to keep any food down for four days. Of course, once I could eat..... I wanted to eat everything in sight. I started feeling better last Friday afternoon but on Saturday I woke to a painful neck. That got worse and on day three I went to the doctor for x-rays. I had a very swollen muscle that was pressing on the nerve. I was given Prednisone. Ive never taken that before and I never want it again! 

On the second night of taking the steroids I had terrible reflux and began feeling as if the pills were stuck in my chest. I walked the house, drank water, nibbled on something, all in attempt to make the pills move or to feel some comfort. It didnt help. I started to worry as I remembered about a similar situation with a former coworker who felt this same way and she died in the night of a heart attack! I started itching all over and decided to get in the shower. I stood in the warm shower scratching and crying and holding my chest.It was terrible! Slowly it eased a little but I felt that lump (pain) in my chest for about 24 hours! I stopped taking the medication. On Friday i felt like I was starving all day and got way off my eating plan. 

Then I had to go to my sleep study. That wasnt fun. I have no issues falling asleep but the wires were uncomfortable and the knowing that there was a camera watching me and a nurse in the other room watching me all night just didnt make for easy sleep. 

Oh well......  Im praying that the next few weeks are far easier than my last few weeks! 

Sleep Study is Over

 It wasnt a comfortable night but its over. I guess Ill hear back through my doctor about the results. I was tired all day yesterday trying to make up for lost sleep or not resting as well (I guess)

Now I have to visit a Psychiatrist (required by insurance) and 4 more monthly visits with my doctor.
Still working on taking in enough fluids daily, eating 6 times a day which includes a lot of protein and less sugar.

I made it!

1) I made this yummy dinner for the family. I merged two recipes from the book Ive been using, Eating for Life. I cooked chicken breast, bell peppers, purple onions, squash in a pan with curry powder, pink salt, cayenne pepper, basil. I drained and warmed up corn with no salt and black beans. Then, we warmed wheat tortillas and put the chicken mixture on top, sprinkled beans and corn with a little cheese, salsa and sour cream on top! So good!


2) I made it to my Nutritionist appointment. Ive been doing most of what she had to tell me! Ive lost 5 lbs and only  few more appointments and Ill be done!

3) I made it through the day after seeing a doctor about my neck pain. Strained muscle was inflamed and pressing on nerves. Steroids and pain meds are making a HUGE difference!

Possible Set Back

Tomorrow Im supposed to meet with the Nutritionist. I dont know if Ill make that appointment as Im suffering with terrible neck pain. I thought Id slept wrong but the pain is worse today and I have a large lump on the back of my neck. (possible pinch nerve?) I also have slight numbness down my left arm. Ill be seeing a doctor tomorrow to see whats going on.

 If Im better I should be doing my sleep study Friday night. I hope this issue wont cause me to get behind on appointments. I have had a rough week! I suffered with a stomach virus Tuesday-Friday and then Saturday was hit with neck pain! 

Praying things calm and settle soon.