Sunday, June 19, 2016

Live life with no regrets!

 Above is the difference 70.5 lbs makes! 
Below is another photo of my mothers day piercing. Posted this for the reader who commented under my Mothers Day post!

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Learning to like Myself

 For years Ive heard people say you will never truly be happy until you learn to love yourself. I never really understood what that meant. Throughout my weight loss journey Ive realized how I have always disliked myself and never felt good enough, never felt thin enough and never felt pretty enough. I didn't want to meet my husbands coworkers because I was fat. I didn't want to go out and do things because I was fat. Since losing a significant amount of weight I have realized I feel better, I'm happier and am not as self conscious. I have confidence! I have decided that i will no longer sit around the house doing nothing all the time. (though that is a good thing to do once in awhile)

This week I had lunch with an old friend from school. We went to elementary, Jr High and High School together! We caught up with each others lives and laughed and had so much fun. For once, I was not afraid to see an old friend or to pose for a photo. (though I did look at this and think, OMG I need a tan! )
 This week I hit a milestone in my journey! I have lost 70.5 lbs !!!!!   I am in a size 12 which is unbelievable to me!
I finally hit a point where I am happy with myself. No matter who is or isn't in my life, I'm happy with me and will go on with life enjoying it, loving it, learning more and doing more for others. I a finally happy with myself, I finally love myself no matter what. Now I understand the statement Ive heard from many people over the years.

Friday, June 17, 2016


 On Mothers Day my girls took me to get my nose pierced! I had thought about it over the past few months and decided, why not?  It was a fun day and didn't hurt but a moment. I like it!

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Everything is the Same Except the Numbers on the Scale

Life has been moving on in recent weeks. I work full time in an elementary classroom with Autistic children. The end of the school year was busy and hectic. As all things do, it came to an end last week. I had hoped to have a position with the same children over the summer but that did not work out. I cannot afford to stay home all summer without pay so Im actively seeking a summer job and actively stressing!

I never expected weight loss to fix everything in my life. I just wanted to be healthier, feel better and look better. I have now lost 69.5 lbs and my weight loss is slow and becoming more of a challenge. I work out three times a week at a gym with a trainer. My eating has changed a bit and I need to concentrate more on getting in my protein and keeping sugar out of my diet. I also need to make sure I get the fluids in.

Here I sit, often thinking that maybe I did expect things to be a bit better with the weight loss. Everything is still the same (except the numbers on the scale)  I still look in the mirror and most days I still see a fat person. I still am not happy with myself and I realize that weight loss didnt change relationships around me. Everything is still the same, except the numbers on the scale.

I still have anxiety. I still have depression. I still struggle with my self image.

When you lose the weight you often find other problems. I dont like the loose skin on my thighs, or under my chin. I still stress over bills

Everything is the same except the numbers on the scale.