I'm a Groupie (aka Following Noah Guthrie)

 A few years ago I heard a new and upcoming artist on the radio. He started his career on You Tube! I listened to an interview and then heard him sing and that's when I was hooked! He has an unbelievable voice! I listened to Noah Guthrie on youtube. Since I liked his facebook page I see when shows are coming up and imagine my excitement to see he would be singing at the Midtown Music Festival in Raleigh (an hour from me)

 I was in heaven hearing him sing for an hour and half and then meeting him, having photos taken and purchasing a t shirt and CD. Two of my girls went with us. I was an awesome evening!

If you have never listened to Noah Guthrie sing, you must do it now!

Check out his youtube channel Only1Noah

Sharing Clothes

Last year as I started my weight loss journey my daughter was getting rid of some clothes.

I took a few things and said, "Maybe one day Ill fit in these" 

Fast forward to now....  I was cleaning out my closet and saw those things I had taken from my daughter. I tried on this dress (a large) and it fit! 

Now it fits her way more lose than this did me but it fit, and was not too tight! 

Super excited! 

I dont feel fat anymore but I do not feel skinny or small. I still feel like a big girl, I guess I always will. I want to lose 25 more pounds. I also hope I can build up my clothing supply as I do not have enough pants to wear for a full work week! 

Ive gained a few pounds back (three to be exact) and Im trying to figure out what I need to do to break this stall Ive been in for the past month! 

For now, Ill enjoy the excitement over sharing clothes with my girls! 

A Mothers Love doesn't discriminate

 Remember that cute little yellow Duckling? Here it is! I had no idea Ducks grow so fast! 

I purchased a duck and 6 chicks at the same time. We laughed at the fact that Dexter would grow up thinking he/she is a chicken.  We also didn't know if Dexter was a boy or a girl and still don't. I'm inclined to believe its a female as Dexter has strong maternal instincts. Dexter thinks these chicks are her babies.  Above you will see that I took Dexter out of the run for a swim in the kiddie pool. She just jumped out and waddled over to the run trying to get close to those babies and didn't like that they were inside and she is outside.

 I later purchased two more ducklings. One is with these chicks that you see in the run. The other is inside the coop with the two Polish Top Hat chicks. The black duck (Batman) has a deformed leg due to a vitamin deficiency and has a difficult time walking around. For now Ill keep it with the little ones.

Its quite the job taking care of all these animals these days.  Every morning I have to let the hens out to free range, let the chicks and two ducks into the run, make sure they all have plenty of water (since ducks drink about a gallon a day) and I move the Top hats fromthe tiny brooder in the coop to the larger brooder in the coop with Batman. I make sure they all have food and water and then go on to work. In the afternoons I come home and let the ducks swim and before dark I have to move all the chickens back to their original places. It will be nice when they can all be together! 

Some days I love these creatures with all I have in me and other days, I want to get rid of all the animals and my belongings and just be alone! I guess that's life! 

Make Someone's Day

My 20 year old daughter is in Cosmetology school. 

Thursday night I was talking about how damaged my hair is from the flat iron and hair dryer. Not to mention the fact that my hair is falling out from rapid weight loss (which doesn't feel very rapid... given the fact that Ive not lost any weight in the last month and actually gained 2lbs) I asked if she could trim it up a bit. She did and it feels and looks so much healthier! 

It may not look different to most people but I decided to stop the teasing and stop using heat as much as possible on it. So its more natural and I feel like its very different. (the picture doesn't show it but I have colored it violet... it has a reddish-purplish tint to it... and that had nothing to do with Prince! I dyed it a few weeks ago) 

So Friday morning I ran into the grocery store before work to purchase some protein shakes for the day. The cashier said, "Your hair looks fabulous! I noticed you as you walked in the door on the other side of the store!"  That just made my day! 

I snapped the above photo when I got to my car. 

Take the time to compliment people! 

Make someone's day! 

If you notice something about them that you like..... tell them! 

Prince

I have always loved Prince! I was 14 in this picture and Im sure you can tell I was a HUGE Prince fan. I still love his music and cannot believe he is gone. Even in recent years Ive listened to my Prince CD and always will. He was an amazing musician and will forever be one of the best. 

One thing I love about him is he wasnt plastered all over tabloids for crazy sex scandals, drugs or anything like that. He was quiet and didnt have to claim to be one of the best....  we all knew it.

Its a sad day....

5 K Color Run

 One of my goals this year was to run a 5k (and run the entire thing) I didnt meet that goal but I did run about half the time. I signed up with a friend and we only had like three weeks to prepare, so I think we did pretty good.

 My family went to cheer me on, even though they could only see me start the race and finish it. All throughout the race we were sprayed with colorful powder and were covered by the end.

 I was not exhausted at the end which a big victory for me! We alternated running and walking. It was fun, and we will continue to train and sign up for another 5k in the future in hopes to eventually be able to run an entire 5k.

Goals and Struggles

I am 5 months post op.  

My hair is falling out. This is common when you lose weight rapidly. I mostly notice the hair falling out when Im in the shower. I hope this is going to stop soon. I take Biotin daily to help with hair regrowth.  

I still struggle with vitamin intake. I hate the taste of chewables and I cannot take large pills. I will keep searching until I find the right one for me. 

I have been working on the Couch to 5K program. I am no runner! But Ive been working hard at running/walking and building up my stamina. Saturday I will be in a Color Run with a friend. I know I wont run the whole thing but I hope to run more than I walk! 

I also do Refit (like Zumba) once a week. Exercise is something NEW to me. Ive never liked it much but its growing on me. 

I struggle to get enough calories in.... my goal is 1,000 calories a day. Today was the first day that I got in 1,000 calories. 

I have 25 more lbs to lose. Im in another stall. Stalls are frustrating but it happens and most times your body is changing in other ways when it isnt losing pounds. 

I am more confident now, I dont feel fat anymore but I need to meet my goal to lose a total of 89 lbs. 

I wanted to blog about more than weight loss but my life has been so crazy and work is so busy I havnt had the energy to blog about anything else.

Monthly Update......

 I have lost 63 lbs!  I work hard at getting the fluids in but dont always meet my goal. Its a struggle to get close to 1000 calories a day but when I do, I lose more!

 In two weeks I am going to run (or run/walk) a Color Run 5K with a friend. Ive been doing the Couch to 5K and have quickly learned I am no runner!  Especially since I have asthma and its allergy season!

Still doing Refit (like Zumba) 1-2 days a week and Couch to 5K the other days.  Feeling great about the changes! I want to lose about 25 more lbs!

The struggle is real.....  you tend to trade one issue (weight) for another (loose skin and saggy boobs)

If only I had the money for a tummy tuck and a lift!

59# Down!

Im continuing the same eating patterns but trying hard to eat 1000 calories a day but that's a struggle eating that much. I started the Couch to 5k running program and have signed up for a Color Run in three weeks! I am also doing Refit (like Zumba) once a week.  Its a work in progress.

Smaller Portions

My husband's lunch and mine. 

#smallerportions

Cuteness Overload

 I am the crazy chicken lady. I am down to 8 laying hens and 1 rooster. 

Its spring! Time for babies! I purchased six chicks and 1 duck. 

Why one duck? I wanted a few ducks but at Tractor Supply they had only ONE duckling! 

It was in a bin all alone so I got him and Im pretty sure hes going to grow up thinking hes a chicken.  His name is Dexter. (we really dont know if its a he or a she)

Dexter is going to be one spoiled duck!

On My Way

 Ive lost 57 pounds (counting from my highest weight) I went through my closet and I have three trash bags full of clothes I can no longer wear. Its great! But at the same time, I have hardly any clothes to wear!

 Today I wore this to church. Ive never worn pants on a Sunday morning to church but I have no dresses or skirts that fit me!

Tomorrow I start Couch to 5K training. I signed up for a 5K color run for next month! I might be crazy but signing up is the push I need to make me train.I need to exercise more than I have been. 

I go to Refit once a week. Sometimes I do weights and stair stepper at home but in the past few weeks Ive been slacking. 

Ive also been pretty down about a lot of things. Generally not happy with life even though I have a pretty good life. Mid life crisis maybe??? Side effects from surgery???  I don't know. I feel great about my weight loss,  just a lot going on in my brain these days. Hoping more training and exercise and concentrating on that will help. 

TRANSFORMATION TUESDAY

 I just found the above photo on my computer and had to compare to a recent photo.  BIG changes are taking place, and it feels great! Im 56 lbs down and I have about 30 more Id like to lose!

Loss Update

As of March 1st I have lost 52 pounds. Im averaging about 7 pounds a month now. Still working on my water intake. I went for my three month visit with the surgeon and he said Im doing awesome and warned that this is when many lose focus. Im still working hard at eating only what I should have but once in a blue moon I might sneak something small. At work they are putting out all sorts of sweets and snacks and Im proud to say that the only thing I got was a yogurt! I want to lose about 40 more pounds!

Self Image

When you are fat (overweight) you don't want anyone to notice you. You want to blend in to the crowd and be an average person. For so many years Ive felt like an embarrassment to my husband and children. I didn't want to meet his coworkers or old friends because of what they might think about me.

I am very self conscious and have a major self image issue. It started back when I was in elementary school. I was called fat by other kids in my class (usually boys) By the time I was in middle school I was actually pretty thin and more developed than the other girls but in my brain I was fat. When I compared myself to the others I didn't realize that I looked more like a young woman and they were not there yet. I thought I was supposed to look like them. I hated myself.

My weight became an issue after having my first child. My body went through a roller coaster of things for many years. I had a baby, three months later I had emergency gal bladder surgery and they had to do it the old fashioned way (about a 5 inch cut in my abdominal area) 8 months after that I was pregnant again. Two years later I was pregnant again and four years after that I was pregnant with my last baby. I kept weight on after every baby.

Fast forward to now.......  Ive lost 50 lbs and I feel so much better even though the doctor considers me still obese.  I'm still working on losing more. At first, I still didn't want to be noticed. I had not told many about my VSG and I didn't want them asking. I still wanted to be unnoticed.  After losing 50 lbs and feeling so much better I began to wonder why no one has noticed a 50lb loss. I started thinking how shallow I must have been before when I was so self conscious about myself I thought everyone noticed my weight issue when in fact they just don't notice ME at all.

I feel invisible. I am realizing that I have so much more to work on within myself other than my weight. Losing the weight might make me feel better physically and a little bit better as far as my self image issues are concerned but it cant fix it all.

I had read that many struggle with anxiety and depression after or during weight loss and I think its finally hitting me. I wish I were not so self conscience, I wish I did not concern myself with how others see me but I simply cannot shake those thoughts and feelings. It would be nice to hear that I look good once in awhile but most people (even the ones that know about the VSG dont comment at all.)